Two weeks ago, I met with a surgeon who told me that the adenomyosis in my uterus is so diffuse, that the only "treatment" is a hysterectomy. Obviously, without a uterus, I can't have babies. At this point, I don't know all the options, but considering having a hysterectomy has been on my mind quite a bit lately.
Yesterday, my kitten, my 1 year 2 month old baby, named Bronte, was spayed. I cried when she went into heat a few weeks ago, but I cried even more thinking about her having a ovariohysterectomy. It just felt too personal. I didn't want her to experience pain. I didn't want her personality to change or her to get fat. I didn't want her to experience all the things that I don't want to experience!
Her belly is shaved and she has a tiny cut on her belly. Yesterday, she and I stayed in the bedroom all day, so I could keep an eye on her, but she really didn't want anything to do with me. A couple of times, when I touched her, she hissed at me. I cried and cried, and regretted agreeing for her to have this surgery.
It doesn't seem like anyone understands how all of this has affected me. Bronte is my 'baby girl," and I'm sure I would have been upset for her to be in pain no matter what, but with the recent suggestion that I have a hysterectomy, it has been even more difficult. I can't imagine having an empty space in my belly. But, now my baby girl has exactly that. She will be fine; I wonder if I will be.
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