Facebook

I've known infertile women say that Facebook is one of their triggers, but I never really understood that until today.  As I scrolled down my news feed, I saw pictures of new babies, posts about diaper sales, pictures of pregnant bellies, and status updates about the cute things people's children did or said.

Usually that all does not bother me.

But for some reason, it does today.

I've dealt with infertility for almost 11 years, but have been able to ignore it most of the time.  Now that I'm seeking answers and treatment, I can't ignore it anymore, and I feel the jealousy that others have told me about.

I know that I have a loving Father, who created the world, and holds the entire world in His hand.  I know that, with Him all things are possible.  Usually, I trust that He loves me and gives me good things.  I still trust that today, although there are times when my trust and faith waver.

I don't know why He doesn't miraculously open my womb and give us children.

I didn't do anything wrong to cause the condition(s) that have prevented us from having children.  In fact, I believe that the miscarriage that I had almost 11 years ago led to some of the problems that I'm having today.  That certainly wasn't my fault.  So I know that I'm not being punished.

I don't understand why some people have many children easily, and so many others, like myself, struggle.  I don't understand...but I'm sure it would hurt, even if I did understand.