Today was (unintentionally) baby day at work. One of my co-workers brought her newborn in for a visit. I got to hold him--he is so tensy tiny, and gorgeous. Another co-worker had her 4 month old grandson in for a visit. And one of my friends, who has struggled with infertility for years, is pregnant with twin girls through IVF, and her belly is growing with the babies as she's 21 weeks along.
I'm happy for these people. I enjoy visiting with and holding the babies. I love talking about pregnancy and babies with my friends.
But my heart hurts so much.
I'm not sure I've ever held a newborn that tiny.
I don't know if I'll ever be able to be 21 weeks pregnant.
I don't even know if my uterus can support a pregnancy...if conception even happened.
2.5 weeks until my follow up appointment with my RE to review my labs and HSG. Last week was the first week I started to have hope because the HSG seemed to indicate that my fallopian tubes are open.
But I'm scared to have hope.
I'm tired of disappointment.
I just want to have a family with my own itty bitty babies.
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